A Crime of Being Me

Nak tahu tak. 

For the rest of my life, I never defend myself. I just let them be. Sampailah ke satu tahap, I'm the bad person, I'm the complicated one. Prinsip hidup I, I tak nak gaduh dengan sesiapa, I tak nak ada bad memories with anyone tapi dari kecik, people keep blaming me for everything that happens. People keep misunderstanding me. Padahal I didn't even do anything.

Dan, nak tahu apa yang paling sakit?

Apabila you just wanted to express what you feel, you just wanted to explained your side tapi akhirnya tetap you juga yang dipersalahkan. Tetap, you jugalah puncanya. Sakit tak?

Sebab itu lah bila dah selalu sangat jadi macam ni, I decided untuk tak bercerita, tak berkongsi dengan sesiapa anymore. Sebab at the end of the day, even after I’ve explained everything I feel, somehow; I’m still the problem. It’s always me. They always blame me. I’m always the cause; even when I’m not. 

Kalau orang cakap, kita pun kena muhasabah diri, jangan terlalu negative. But what if I did muhasabah diri and I even stayed positive with people around me, tapi kadang bila I share something yang tak ada kaitan dengan I pun, pusing sana sini eh it's my fault too. Sampai otak I pun jem sebab I thought just now I shared pasal benda lain, tapi why blame on me too?

Aish sakit pala.

Penat betul jadi me. 

Btw, Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri guysss!